I was inspired to start this blog by two different books, The Thursday Murder Club and What Alice Forgot. I finished the first yesterday and enjoyed that part of it was a diary entry, it made me think about journaling and how useful it can be. It’s something I’ve thought about recently because I need to sort my life out and I’ve always found it helpful.

What Alice Forgot also includes some diary entries for Alice’s sister’s therapist. It was an extra reminder that writing this stuff down can be very helpful. Even if no one ever reads it the act of writing or typing in this case can help you sort your thoughts out.

I’ve done journaling now and again over the years, but never stuck at it. I’m not sure what the hurdle has been, perhaps I never really knew how much I needed it before.

Reading What Alice Forgot has been causing me to reflect. Alice falls during a step class and gets a head injury causing her to forget the last 10 years. She can’t remember having her children or who they are, her husband who she remembers being newly weds with and being excited about the future is now in a custody battle and going through divorce.

The idea of this is scary, to think you had lost 10 years, and to see the differences in relationships in that time. It causes me to think back 10 years, what I hoped for, how my relationships were. What I wanted life to be like. I don’t mean this in a negative way, or a beat yourself up kind of way. I think it’s important to reflect.

My relationships with some people need work, I want to work more on my marriage, I think it’s pretty common to have a period where your life is so focused on your kids that your marriage takes a back seat. You become more like co-workers, you talk about the kids, the logistics of he kids, mortgage rates, what we need to add to the weekly Tesco order. There’s little capacity for romance and connection.

And yes some people do manage to have it all, but let’s be honest for a lost of us 20 years into a relationship things change.

The challenge is now the kids are growing up and they don’t need as much of my brain power as they once did, that reconnection is really important to me, but so much has happened between 10 years ago and now it’s hard to know how to get back there. Of course, the point is not to go back there, but to find a way forward in connection.

I was inspired by the journals in these books and also the idea of losing 10 years of memories to write on a blog regularly to help me untangle my thoughts.